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An Apology To My Fellow Black Woman

American black women have always been painted negatively within the U.S. media, which also influences the international community. From the Mammy to Jezebel to Sapphire, these stereotypes have affected society’s view of the black woman, setting the tone for her treatment by other communities before she is even given the chance to prove otherwise.

Virgin Peruvian Natural Wave Hair Weft 4pcs/pack Human Hair BundlesI remember once i first started middle school within the predominantly white community of Midlothian, Texas. Not only was I one of a handful of black students, but our family was the one African family in all the city. Having to make friends turned my stomach upside down, as somebody who had always been very shy. The fear of rejection was too difficult to get over in my mind. I used to be drawn to quiet, intellectual individuals like myself. Even at that age, I used to be very focused, due to a mother who drilled the importance of academic success into my head day and night. I discovered it difficult to relate to my African-American classmates as a consequence of our cultural differences.

My first encounter with a fellow black female classmate was a nightmare. I had taken my hair out of braids for the primary time, and she accused me of wearing a wig. She began jabbing in my hair and yelling out to the entire class that I had a weave on. At the time, I did not understand that she was simply a bully and that bullies might be found across all racial groups. I allowed myself to hold this particular memory with me throughout school, and didn’t have a single African-American friend until years after I graduated. Now I find the whole idea to be ridiculous, nevertheless it made sense in my mind at the time, because of the preconceived notions my family had about American black women.

My husband, whom I married on the age of twenty-two was my first African-American friend and the primary black man outside of our close knit African community that I dated. Not only was he nothing like what I believed he may have been–neither were his mother and sister.

Being married to Corey, I’ve learned that there are stereotypes about African women as well: That we are dirty. And that we are docile and submissive–to the purpose where we don’t mind if men treat us as if we’re worthless. I was appalled after i learned of those stereotypes, but could I actually be angry After all, how long did I hold my inaccurate views of black Americans

I feel as if I owe my sisters an apology. Raising three daughters in a world that judges black women before taking the time to know or understand us has opened my eyes to my very own wrongdoings. My father-in-law once told me the story of an African woman who told him that she didn’t associate herself with African-Americans because they were loud and dangerous. He asked her if the Klu Klux Klan still roamed free, and she stood next to an African-American woman, would she be allowed to live because she is African–or would the 2 of them be killed together because they both had dark skin

I often have this question on my mind, as I have come to appreciate that fearing somebody simply because you do not understand that person is senseless, no matter what the color or cultural background could also be. That is the mindset that I want to instill in all my children, because it’s the only way that we will probably be able to build a better world. Obviously there are black women on the market who’re promiscuous, loud, full of anger and rage, and abusive, but there are Caucasian, Asian, European, and Hispanic women that are the identical way. We do have lots of beautiful, strong, kind, submissive, talented women in our community, whether we’re African, American, Asian, or European. As black women we might be judged regardless of where in this world we choose to go, so why should we judge one another Rather, we should take the opportunity to grasp where all these stereotypes begin, in order that we will work collectively against them. Creating better role models in our communities ought to be certainly one of the primary and most important steps, so that we can begin to show our daughters that they haven’t got to accept the labels they are given.

To my fellow empowered Black women: I apologize and I really like you.
Originally Posted on Afro-Chic Mompreneur.
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