Should you knew me 10 years ago, you would not acknowledge me immediately. For most of my life I had lengthy dark brown hair but over the past few years it has been blonde, blue, ombre, and black.
I didn’t was this adventurous. Growing up, I at all times needed to be blonde however once i shared my need with others I was met with complete disapproval. “NO! Don’t do it. It might look terrible on you!” Or, “I might By no means see you as a blonde,” which was truthful because I’ve olive pores and skin and dark eyebrows.
Hairdressers shared more reasons why I should not do it: being blonde is a number of upkeep. The coloration would harm my hair. It would take hours and a number of other appointments to achieve the shade I wanted. If I needed a change, why not go darker instead? That might look higher and really deliver out my eyes.
It appeared the whole world was towards me being blonde, so I gave in and stayed a pure brunette. Every time that little voice inside me whispered “But I need to be blonde!” I might tell it to go away — this was the best I was going to look so I needed to stay this fashion.
Fast forward and at age 24 I discovered myself sitting within the hairdresser’s chair, able to make a drastic change.
There have been many factors that contributed to this variation of heart. I had been through loads (heart ache, graduating school, dwelling in a new metropolis) and did some self-exploration. With distance from the lady I was once, I had space to figure out who I actually was and what I actually wanted — and i wanted to be blonde.
Sherri Belanger, my longtime hairdresser, played with my hair as we checked out my reflection within the mirror.
“I can tell,” she stated. “You are prepared.”
I was. I was able to risk the tears and self-loathing that comes with a foul haircut, not to say a wholly new look. I had no clue what I might appear to be blonde however I used to be ready to trust the little voice inside me and at last go for it, even when it made no sense to anybody else.
(Facet note: I’m without end grateful to Sherri for spearheading my transformation. She actually listened to me and by no means tried to dissuade me from what I wished.)
I used to be at the salon for 6 hours. Because I had virgin hair, it may handle a number of chemicals. We didn’t understand how blonde we might get it in one sitting, however I ended up a very lovely, light coloured hue. After my hair was blown out, Sherri and i as soon as again stared at my reflection in her mirror.
“Wow,” she said. I shifted my head from one side to the opposite, marveling at my new locks.
The subsequent few days I kept walking previous mirrors and feeling fully shocked. Who was I? My dog didn’t acknowledge me after i picked him up from daycare. I was taking night time courses and through roll call, professors did a double take. After i flew dwelling for the holidays a few weeks later, my father could not find me at the airport.
Most surprisingly, this choice to go blonde opened up a floodgate inside me. I had wanted to be blonde, nobody thought it was a good idea, I did it anyway (which took a lot of courage), and i appreciated the consequence. As an alternative of telling my coronary heart, “Sorry you can’t have what you want,” I was sending a new message to the body: “You’ll be able to have what you need and you can belief that little voice.”
Over the subsequent few months, I realized different issues I needed, other issues I had feared: I needed to quit graduate college. I wanted to start a enterprise. I needed to move to a special part of town. As I started pursuing these dreams, despite my fears, I felt lighter, happier, extra empowered, and free.
Now, years later, I am back to brunette, but it is a special sort of brunette: shoulder size and almost black-colored. I’ve had many different hair colours and folks have started telling me, “You alter your hair each time I see you!”
If I wake up tomorrow and wish to be blonde again, I will go to the salon and make the change. The nice thing about hair is that it grows back and if you do not like it you can fix it. However because of this expertise, there’s a brand new fearlessness inside of me, an power which has spilled over into all areas of my life.